The beginning
It's amazing how so much can change so quickly; when i look back over the past three years, all i can think of is how different my life could have been if things had turned out differently. If i hadn't fallen ill three years ago with a mysterious illness which is still trying to be diagnosed, things would be very different.
Before i fell ill i was a high achieving 13 going on 14 year old in both my academics and my sports; playing basketball for the county and going for England trials that year, whilst also aiming to sit and complete my GCSE's a year early so i could enrol in college a year early with basketball as my main course.Everything i did was in the hope of pursuing a career in basketball.
Now im 16 years old soon to be 17; basketball is no more in my life, and i passed my GCSE's by the skin of my teeth. Instead of pursuing a career in basketball i have had to change my career path because of my illness; it is rare for me to have enough energy to get out of bed and take the dog for a walk, let alone play a 40 minute game of basketball. Now i am doing a nail technician course, it's not exactly my dream career to paint peoples nails but at the end of the day money is money and i cant rely on my mum to fund everything i do or want.
I should probably explain what my illness is. I have not had a diagnosis at all over the past three years, i have been bounced around from doctor to doctor trying to figure out what is wrong with me; but everyone of them has said the same thing, they don't know what it is but doctor blah blah might s i get passed on to them. The guesses we've been given are a type of Dissociative disorder or a condition called Kleine-Levin Syndrome. Both me and my entire family are steering more towards Kleine-Levin Syndrome, and after speaking to families who have someone who has been diagnosed with this condition have all agreed with us.
I dont see a diagnosis any time soon no matter how much fighting arguing and persistence, because either we get a doctor who has no contacts of someone who could help, or we get a doctor who takes one look at me and assumes im trying to pull a fast one because im lazy. I do have my lazy moment yes, but dont we all? Im a teenager for christ sake of course id rather watch my favourite tv programme than do the washing up with my mum, but why on earth would i completely destroy everything i had built for myself in terms of my education and basketball. I mean c'mon i may be lazy sometimes but im not an idiot, why would i choose sleeping 20+ hours a day for weeks at a time and having the mental age of a 5 year old, when i could be out there pursuing a career in something that i love and could never get bored of. Basketball was my life and now my life revolves around sleep and ensuring that im healthy.
If someone told me 3 years ago that this is my future i would have laughed in their face and walked away. I think that everyone would do the same though, wouldn't you? I mean who would believe someone when they tell you that everything you've achieved up until now is pretty much the best it's going to get; and that in a few weeks time your health begin to slowly deteriorate, destroying you social and home life, causing arguments and scepticism with everyone you come in contact with. Sleeping 20+ plus hours a day for weeks at a time with the mental age of a 5 year old, who constantly has the munchies so your weight will always be a problem. That's not even the tip of the ice berg though, i could possibly cope with all of this if i could remember any of it; that's right everything that happens in what we call episodes i have no recollection of, and no one can tell you how long these episodes are going to be because they vary every time. They can be anywhere between a couple of hours, to days, to weeks, to months, and even to years; this is something i wouldn't wish on anyone, no one deserves to live their life and only remember half of it.
But this is my life...
Before i fell ill i was a high achieving 13 going on 14 year old in both my academics and my sports; playing basketball for the county and going for England trials that year, whilst also aiming to sit and complete my GCSE's a year early so i could enrol in college a year early with basketball as my main course.Everything i did was in the hope of pursuing a career in basketball.
Now im 16 years old soon to be 17; basketball is no more in my life, and i passed my GCSE's by the skin of my teeth. Instead of pursuing a career in basketball i have had to change my career path because of my illness; it is rare for me to have enough energy to get out of bed and take the dog for a walk, let alone play a 40 minute game of basketball. Now i am doing a nail technician course, it's not exactly my dream career to paint peoples nails but at the end of the day money is money and i cant rely on my mum to fund everything i do or want.
I should probably explain what my illness is. I have not had a diagnosis at all over the past three years, i have been bounced around from doctor to doctor trying to figure out what is wrong with me; but everyone of them has said the same thing, they don't know what it is but doctor blah blah might s i get passed on to them. The guesses we've been given are a type of Dissociative disorder or a condition called Kleine-Levin Syndrome. Both me and my entire family are steering more towards Kleine-Levin Syndrome, and after speaking to families who have someone who has been diagnosed with this condition have all agreed with us.
I dont see a diagnosis any time soon no matter how much fighting arguing and persistence, because either we get a doctor who has no contacts of someone who could help, or we get a doctor who takes one look at me and assumes im trying to pull a fast one because im lazy. I do have my lazy moment yes, but dont we all? Im a teenager for christ sake of course id rather watch my favourite tv programme than do the washing up with my mum, but why on earth would i completely destroy everything i had built for myself in terms of my education and basketball. I mean c'mon i may be lazy sometimes but im not an idiot, why would i choose sleeping 20+ hours a day for weeks at a time and having the mental age of a 5 year old, when i could be out there pursuing a career in something that i love and could never get bored of. Basketball was my life and now my life revolves around sleep and ensuring that im healthy.
If someone told me 3 years ago that this is my future i would have laughed in their face and walked away. I think that everyone would do the same though, wouldn't you? I mean who would believe someone when they tell you that everything you've achieved up until now is pretty much the best it's going to get; and that in a few weeks time your health begin to slowly deteriorate, destroying you social and home life, causing arguments and scepticism with everyone you come in contact with. Sleeping 20+ plus hours a day for weeks at a time with the mental age of a 5 year old, who constantly has the munchies so your weight will always be a problem. That's not even the tip of the ice berg though, i could possibly cope with all of this if i could remember any of it; that's right everything that happens in what we call episodes i have no recollection of, and no one can tell you how long these episodes are going to be because they vary every time. They can be anywhere between a couple of hours, to days, to weeks, to months, and even to years; this is something i wouldn't wish on anyone, no one deserves to live their life and only remember half of it.
But this is my life...
Your life will change, you will get to reach your goals and you will get to be a success ... don;t give up - keep fighting - one day you'll get the answers you deserve, you will climb your personal mountain and the views will be amazing!
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