Change

If you asked me 3 years ago what my aims and goals for the future were; I could have carried on for hours, I had so many different fields I could have worked in, varying from a career in sports, to a career in engineering. I had so many plans for my future and still do, only now I don't know how many of them I'll be able to fulfil.  Don't get me wrong, I still dream big and always will do; because if I don't dream big and set goals for myself I'll give up. Without hopes and dreams none of us would be where we are today.

I still plan on doing some of the things I hoped to do 3 years ago; but when I intend to carry out these plans, who knows? I have to think about practicality, and how everything will effect my body, my mind and my energy levels. My life now revolves around how I feel on that specific day, which no one can know until that day comes, some days I can wake up with all the energy in the world, and on other days I just about have the energy to breath. 

The past 3 years I have been learning to cope and accept that a lot of the goals I hoped to achieve are unlikely to happen; but I have also gained new aspirations, they may seem small and pointless to most people but everything starts small. I now hope to; have SOME SORT of diagnosis, complete my nail course, start my own mobile nail technician business, and to have moved out by the time I'm at least 25. These are my current dreams and goals without them I would have no motivation to leave my room. So many people ask me how I continue to go about my days as if nothings ever changed; and just as I said before, without my new goals I would have given up a long time ago. I know that things have changed sooooooo much since I got ill; but there is not a cats chance in hell that me being ill is going to stop me from living my life, it may take me twice as long to do the things most people do, but it doesn't mean that I can't/won't do them.

Comments

  1. Alexander Labes25 March 2015 at 10:06

    My big compliment, Lois! With only 16 you`re sooo full of wisdom. All people need dreams for their future - otherwise you can leave you buried at once. And i`m sure that you can reach self-determined goals in spite of KLS - but not with the highest level. Probably you can`t be successfully as basketball professional. It´s really sooo a pity & tragic!

    But your idea to start a career as mobile nail technician with own business sounds really great! Of course i hope so for you that KLS shall leave you as soon as possible. I´ve read that KLS often disappears after 8 or 10 years. Then you are 25. And without illness you can work really hard in your job with full of energy. And perhaps then you would be young enough for new goals for your further life. Nowadays all people have to keep learning always! You must seize the opportunities when they suddenly arise. And a German proverbe says: it is closing a door, somewhere else opens a new one!
    With dreams & visions for your future you can cope better with your difficult situation and accept these circumstances - i mean espicially living from one day to another and the fear of a new episode. So i want encourage you not to stop dreaming and setting goals!

    PS: i`m really delighted that you feel better at the moment. I wish you a lot of energy for leaving your room & house - therefore you can enjoy the springtime. I press you firmly the thumb!!!



    PS: I´m really delightful that you feels better at the moment!

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