Taboo

As a child you're told that when you grow up you'll go to school, get a job, meet someone, have kids, get married you know all that boring stuff; but what you don't get told is how hard it is to get up in the morning knowing that you're going to go to school to sit in a lesson that you know nothing about. No one tells you how your mind can turn you against yourself, seeing only a stupid worthless thing staring back at you; no one tells you that even though you want to be alone that's when everything's at it's worst.

No one tells you how to fake a smile when all you want to do is cry, no one tells you how to dismantle a razor blade, and I'm certain that no one tells you how much relief you can feel when that silver blade is dragged across your wrist. No one tells us these things yet there are so many people all over the world who have done all of these things and still do. I know a few people who have been through this, I have also been through this myself.

Since I got ill I have struggled coming to terms with having to change my entire life plan, I've had days when my bed is more fun than going outside, I've also had days when I couldn't see any point in trying anymore, I got so low that I could have killed myself. I never made any attempts to because I know how it would effect my family and friends, I'd never be able to put them through anything like that. 

When I'm in episode I'm not so considerate, there have been several occasions where I have woken up and had to figure out a way of hiding the cuts that started at my wrist and ended at my elbow joint. I've also woken up in hospital to be told that I took nearly 30 tablets in an attempt to overdose.

No one tells us how to do these things, no one has ever sat down and taught someone to feel useless and how to end their life; no one talks about that girl who cut herself because someone called her fat, no one talks about the boy who took an overdose because he doesn't fit in with the other kids. 

Why aren't we talking about these people though? These people who are made to feel like they're worthless. Suicide has always been seen as a taboo subject, something that no one ever talks about unless someone dies, why does someone have to die for it to be serious? Isn't it serious enough that a teenager has already come to the conclusion that there's no point living? Isn't it serious enough that a teenager has planned the ideal way to kill them self? 

When are we going to stop ignoring the girl that has cut herself and start asking her why she did and if there's anything we can do. When are we going to teach the children and even adults of today that words can effect people more than you think, so many people have ended their lives because someone called them fat, or gay, or homo or anything that could have been meant as a joke, but it destroyed that person so much inside they didn't see the point in living.