Lumpy Life

I've never been one to shy away from a question about my life or about how I'm feeling; I've always been an open book and still am, except now when someone asks me how I'm feeling I normally just say that I'm fine. I don't say it because I don't want to tell people how I feel any more, I just can't put my feelings into words because I don't know how I feel half of the time.  I don't even think I can call what goes on in my head feelings, they're just empty thoughts. There are only a few things and people that can put a real smile on my face, instead of the smile I force because everyone else is or I feel I have to. Even thinking about old memories that used to make me cry or make me laugh, when I think back now I know that they're happy or sad memories, I just can't make the emotional link.  The best word to describe my emotions is probably empty, even when I cry I don't feel sad I just feel empty, when I laugh and smile it ju...

So I'm out of episode, after 90 days I'm awake; but to me it felt like the next day, I remember falling asleep in bed and then I woke up in bed with my boyfriend, but everything in my room has been moved. Apparently this wasn't the first time I'd decided to reorganise my room though. It's still weird and I can't say I'm used to it, but when I wake up I now expect things to have changed and moved, because it happens so often.  This was different though, I knew something was different from the last episodes, I felt different. My body no longer felt like mine; I've lost so much weight in this past episode, I now have pastel multi coloured hair, my sister had been back from university for at least 2 months, and we were leaving to take her back the next day. This was my longest episode ever, it's weird to think that in my head I slept for three months. To me I fell asleep and woke up three months later, I don't remember a quarter of this year, I...