General Update...
I entered this year in episode, waking up on the 1st of January in episode; after having had a quite a few drinks the night before, celebrating the new year in true Scouse fashion, by getting drunk with my Dad and quite a few other family members I rarely see. Although it wasn't the way I would have liked to enter the new year, not remembering the first days of the year; and also having to leave my Dads two weeks earlier than was planned, it wasn't one of my longest episodes. I still would like to avoid them as much as I can, lasting only ten days, it still knocks me back a lot more when the surroundings I wake up in are completely different than what I remember.
Since waking up on the 10th of January in my bedroom instead of in my Dads living room on the inflatable bed like I expected, I have managed to stay awake for possibly one of my longest periods yet; until once again I fell asleep on the 21st of February, not what I wanted.
Like the episode I started the year in, it was one of my shorter episodes. Lasting only 4 days it was definitely one of lighter episodes, I didn't wake up as groggy or disorientated; I still had no recollection of what had happened in the four day period I was in episode for, however my loss of memory didn't bother me as much as it has done in the past.
The last thing I remember is being home alone looking after all the animals, whilst my mum and little brother visited my older sister at University; my boyfriend was at his mum's so I didn't spend time with him either, apart from over FaceTime and Skype. I'd spent the 3 days previous on my own doing the normal things I do, cleaning, knitting, watching tv, general teenager things. I could feel myself gradually getting more and more tired, becoming fatigued and the simplest of tasks becoming a chore, my body could not take the physical aspects. My brain was still working though, it took a lot more time for my head to become the cloudy, foggy, brain farting mess it normally becomes before I go into episode, and then it hit me.
I could feel my brain fighting against the cloudy mess it always becomes, but as usual I wasn't able to fight it; I was finding it hard to have conversations because I just couldn't think of the words, and my physical fatigue had increased too, walking to the bathroom was a chore once more.
When I woke up out of episode on the 25th of February, I was definitely confused but I was far from surprised that I'd gone into episode. Going to sleep alone on Saturday night expecting to wake up on Sunday to wait for mum and my brother to come home that day, instead I woke up in my bed on Thursday, but I wasn't alone. I woke up in my boyfriends arms, his hair had been dyed (by me), both my mum and my brother were downstairs.
Even though it was a short time, a lot still happened. Since October I have been having weekly therapy sessions as part of my treatment/coping with my condition; my therapy sessions are every Tuesday and they vary between, me travelling to her house, her travelling to mine or FaceTiming on days when neither of us can travel. This week because I was in episode I was unable to travel to hers, and FaceTiming in episode is pretty pointless, so she came to my house; however when she arrived I have been told I was in one of my mute phases, where I refuse to talk to anyone. We didn't do a lot of talking but I have been told that while I was playing with the play-dough that she brought along, her and my boyfriend had a very in-depth conversation.
Something else of importance that I missed because of my episode was that we had to have one of my cats put down. We were all aware that she was going to be put down quite soon, she was 21 had lived a long and as far as we could make out a happy life; I have never known life without her in the picture, she was and always will be the family pet everyone remembers. Even though I knew it was coming soon, I would have preferred to have been awake and remember why, how and when the time came for her to be put down. Old friends, distant family members, new friends pretty much everyone I have known to have met her has said how sad it has made them; even a few have said that it's weird her not being around any more. I've watched out 4 other cats wondering round meowing and looking for as well as the dog. Even though we all miss her, the pain and suffering she was in after having been on thyroid medication for 9 months previous, having fits and not being able to walk properly, it was the best thing for her.
R.I.P B'tor.
Since waking up on the 10th of January in my bedroom instead of in my Dads living room on the inflatable bed like I expected, I have managed to stay awake for possibly one of my longest periods yet; until once again I fell asleep on the 21st of February, not what I wanted.
Like the episode I started the year in, it was one of my shorter episodes. Lasting only 4 days it was definitely one of lighter episodes, I didn't wake up as groggy or disorientated; I still had no recollection of what had happened in the four day period I was in episode for, however my loss of memory didn't bother me as much as it has done in the past.
The last thing I remember is being home alone looking after all the animals, whilst my mum and little brother visited my older sister at University; my boyfriend was at his mum's so I didn't spend time with him either, apart from over FaceTime and Skype. I'd spent the 3 days previous on my own doing the normal things I do, cleaning, knitting, watching tv, general teenager things. I could feel myself gradually getting more and more tired, becoming fatigued and the simplest of tasks becoming a chore, my body could not take the physical aspects. My brain was still working though, it took a lot more time for my head to become the cloudy, foggy, brain farting mess it normally becomes before I go into episode, and then it hit me.
I could feel my brain fighting against the cloudy mess it always becomes, but as usual I wasn't able to fight it; I was finding it hard to have conversations because I just couldn't think of the words, and my physical fatigue had increased too, walking to the bathroom was a chore once more.
When I woke up out of episode on the 25th of February, I was definitely confused but I was far from surprised that I'd gone into episode. Going to sleep alone on Saturday night expecting to wake up on Sunday to wait for mum and my brother to come home that day, instead I woke up in my bed on Thursday, but I wasn't alone. I woke up in my boyfriends arms, his hair had been dyed (by me), both my mum and my brother were downstairs.
Even though it was a short time, a lot still happened. Since October I have been having weekly therapy sessions as part of my treatment/coping with my condition; my therapy sessions are every Tuesday and they vary between, me travelling to her house, her travelling to mine or FaceTiming on days when neither of us can travel. This week because I was in episode I was unable to travel to hers, and FaceTiming in episode is pretty pointless, so she came to my house; however when she arrived I have been told I was in one of my mute phases, where I refuse to talk to anyone. We didn't do a lot of talking but I have been told that while I was playing with the play-dough that she brought along, her and my boyfriend had a very in-depth conversation.
Something else of importance that I missed because of my episode was that we had to have one of my cats put down. We were all aware that she was going to be put down quite soon, she was 21 had lived a long and as far as we could make out a happy life; I have never known life without her in the picture, she was and always will be the family pet everyone remembers. Even though I knew it was coming soon, I would have preferred to have been awake and remember why, how and when the time came for her to be put down. Old friends, distant family members, new friends pretty much everyone I have known to have met her has said how sad it has made them; even a few have said that it's weird her not being around any more. I've watched out 4 other cats wondering round meowing and looking for as well as the dog. Even though we all miss her, the pain and suffering she was in after having been on thyroid medication for 9 months previous, having fits and not being able to walk properly, it was the best thing for her.
R.I.P B'tor.
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