Friends
There are several things i've learnt over the past 3 years; some i've learnt from stupid mistakes, and others i've learnt from just watching; I've learnt that good people get hurt for no reason, and sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do, I've also learnt that life doesn't give you what you want, if you want something you've got to work damn hard for it, but maybe the most important thing i've learnt is that nothing in the world matters as much as the people you choose to surround yourself with. The people you choose to have in your life should be the people you know will be there when you're at your weakest and you need a helping hand, it's only when something happens that you truly discover who is there for you.
I have lost several people i thought were my friends since i got ill, many people couldn't accept my illness and who just didn't understand. I mean i understand that people don't understand and can't wrap their head around the fact that walking to the shops exhausts me, or that sitting in a bright room can give me a headache and make everything inside my head fall to pieces, i understand because it's been 3 years and i'm only just beginning to understand and it's my own body.
When i finished year 11 and i mean exams completed i never have to go back to that hell whole again finished, i saw how many people are my true friends and how many people were only my friends because we saw each other at school. Half way through year 11 one of my best friends moved miles away, we don't talk as much as we used to but we'll have catch up sessions which can last for hours. I know that she will always be there for me as well if i'm awake at 5 am because i'm hormonal and crying because i'm a girl, i know she is a phone call away and will be there for me, just the same as she knows no matter the time of day i will answer the phone and be there for her in anyway i can be.
I've never been the touchy feely "ooh let's spend every second of every day with my friends doing random crap because we're bored" I do enjoy my alone time where i can just sit down and chill, so i've never really gone out and done the random stuff with friends. Before i got ill my life outside of school was basketball training, and then when i got ill all of my time outside of school was revising so i could pass my GCSE's and sleeping so i could have enough energy to attend school. The friends i have understand that and most of my friends are exactly like me in the fact that they don't want to go out all of the time. Friendship isn't based on how often you see the people you call friends, it's about how far you would go to ensure this persons safety and happiness.
There will be people in life who you think is a friend, and then something will happen and they'll back away, or you'll have an argument and then you no longer speak. But after the dust has settled it gives you time to actually sit back and think about how often that person was actually ever there for you. The more time you have to reflect and look back at how many times you've needed this person and they haven't been there, but when they needed you there was nothing stopping you from staying up all night talking if that's what they needed.
The friends you have now will be different to the friends you had in primary school, and to the ones you had in secondary school; even when you're 40 are married and have kids you will have different friends, and that's because people change. It's no ones fault because it's in our nature, but if we didn't change we would never learn from our mistakes, if we don't learn from our mistakes we will never be able to grow as people and be the best that we can be.
I have lost several people i thought were my friends since i got ill, many people couldn't accept my illness and who just didn't understand. I mean i understand that people don't understand and can't wrap their head around the fact that walking to the shops exhausts me, or that sitting in a bright room can give me a headache and make everything inside my head fall to pieces, i understand because it's been 3 years and i'm only just beginning to understand and it's my own body.
When i finished year 11 and i mean exams completed i never have to go back to that hell whole again finished, i saw how many people are my true friends and how many people were only my friends because we saw each other at school. Half way through year 11 one of my best friends moved miles away, we don't talk as much as we used to but we'll have catch up sessions which can last for hours. I know that she will always be there for me as well if i'm awake at 5 am because i'm hormonal and crying because i'm a girl, i know she is a phone call away and will be there for me, just the same as she knows no matter the time of day i will answer the phone and be there for her in anyway i can be.
I've never been the touchy feely "ooh let's spend every second of every day with my friends doing random crap because we're bored" I do enjoy my alone time where i can just sit down and chill, so i've never really gone out and done the random stuff with friends. Before i got ill my life outside of school was basketball training, and then when i got ill all of my time outside of school was revising so i could pass my GCSE's and sleeping so i could have enough energy to attend school. The friends i have understand that and most of my friends are exactly like me in the fact that they don't want to go out all of the time. Friendship isn't based on how often you see the people you call friends, it's about how far you would go to ensure this persons safety and happiness.
There will be people in life who you think is a friend, and then something will happen and they'll back away, or you'll have an argument and then you no longer speak. But after the dust has settled it gives you time to actually sit back and think about how often that person was actually ever there for you. The more time you have to reflect and look back at how many times you've needed this person and they haven't been there, but when they needed you there was nothing stopping you from staying up all night talking if that's what they needed.
The friends you have now will be different to the friends you had in primary school, and to the ones you had in secondary school; even when you're 40 are married and have kids you will have different friends, and that's because people change. It's no ones fault because it's in our nature, but if we didn't change we would never learn from our mistakes, if we don't learn from our mistakes we will never be able to grow as people and be the best that we can be.
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