Lumpy Life

It's hard to explain how you feel to someone; when there are no words to explain how you feel, just an empty feeling deep down in your stomach. It's like a gut feeling that something isn't right or isn't going to be right; it can turn out to be nothing and that you were just worrying over nothing, but more often than not something happens.  How do you talk to people about how you feel when nothing seems ok any more? There isn't a way to tell someone how bad you feel when what goes on in your head scares you, how can you pass your pain onto someone else.  Maybe it's all in the head and all of the problems aren't actually there, but even if they aren't there, they were once or they feel so real that it eats you from the inside out. There's nothing like feeling like you're going insane; and that you're just constantly paranoid worrying about problems that don't exist, or worrying about problems that are being kept hidden.  No one told ...

I'm going to talk about someone, who I'm not going to name but I hope they know I'm talking about them when I write this.  There are some people in life who always seem to go unnoticed by the majority, but when the majority needs help, this small handful of people will always be there. This one person in particular has and will always be there for me and everyone I know; they can appear to be the happiest person, and when someone else is having a tough time they have always put that persons needs above their own.  This person is one of the strongest people I know; through all of the hard times, the horrible people and well shit that has been thrown at them, they have always remained that strong smiling person I know.  A smile doesn't always mean happiness though; I have been aware for a while that this person has not been happy in them self, the person that I have always seen as one of the strongest people I know broke.  Everyone breaks and has their dow...