University
The first week of Summer University is over! The weeks flew by and no I'm finding myself waiting for Monday to come around, just so I can go back up to the University and see everyone again. After 3 years out of education I forgot how much I actually enjoy learning, my days feel like they have purpose again and less like I'm floating around aimlessly. I have priorities and organisation in my days again, I'm not longer bored and wondering around thinking of ways to prolong the things I do, so I don't have to sit down and do nothing all day. I have assignments and essays to write, along with blossoming friendships with people I met this week.
It's been such a long time since I've felt like my future has any prospects further than sitting in my bed all day, but now I feel like there is hope for my future again. After one week at the University it has made me certain that this is the University I want to attend in September, not only has it solidified in my mind that the Creative Writing course is the path I want to pursue; it has also shown me that the majority of my social anxieties are in my head, I was already aware that a lot of the problems in my head are exactly that, they're in my head. Being in vast social situations University has to offer, where I am forced to interact with others on a daily basis, has highlighted the fact that I need to have more belief in myself.
My first week of lectures couldn't have gone any better, I started with Creative writing and I couldn't be happier, the course I want to pursue at the University is the course easing me into Summer University. I don't want to sound big headed but I know I'm not an awful writer, but I also know that I'm no Shakespeare; writing pieces both in and out of lectures, some of which I was able to receive feedback for. I have never felt so accepted in a group of people before, criticising my work constructively but also giving me positive feedback boosting my confidence in my work. I actually feel like I'm already improving my writing skills, and am learning more techniques to apply to my stories; reading other peoples work in lectures also opens up my mind to other possibilities, they give a perspective to a story that I couldn't see.
Even though I've had such an amazing first week, I can slowly feel my energy levels depleting, the early mornings and long walks up the hill to the University are slowly hacking away at me. I dread going into episode especially when this first weeks gone so well, everything I would miss both academically and socially if I were to go into episode could form an endless list. For now I'm trying to focus less on the negatives that could happen, and more so on all of the countless positive possibilities. I can't predict the future, but I can hope and pray that even with my episodes, my life will follow the path I choose, and no longer one that is chosen for me.
It's been such a long time since I've felt like my future has any prospects further than sitting in my bed all day, but now I feel like there is hope for my future again. After one week at the University it has made me certain that this is the University I want to attend in September, not only has it solidified in my mind that the Creative Writing course is the path I want to pursue; it has also shown me that the majority of my social anxieties are in my head, I was already aware that a lot of the problems in my head are exactly that, they're in my head. Being in vast social situations University has to offer, where I am forced to interact with others on a daily basis, has highlighted the fact that I need to have more belief in myself.
My first week of lectures couldn't have gone any better, I started with Creative writing and I couldn't be happier, the course I want to pursue at the University is the course easing me into Summer University. I don't want to sound big headed but I know I'm not an awful writer, but I also know that I'm no Shakespeare; writing pieces both in and out of lectures, some of which I was able to receive feedback for. I have never felt so accepted in a group of people before, criticising my work constructively but also giving me positive feedback boosting my confidence in my work. I actually feel like I'm already improving my writing skills, and am learning more techniques to apply to my stories; reading other peoples work in lectures also opens up my mind to other possibilities, they give a perspective to a story that I couldn't see.
Even though I've had such an amazing first week, I can slowly feel my energy levels depleting, the early mornings and long walks up the hill to the University are slowly hacking away at me. I dread going into episode especially when this first weeks gone so well, everything I would miss both academically and socially if I were to go into episode could form an endless list. For now I'm trying to focus less on the negatives that could happen, and more so on all of the countless positive possibilities. I can't predict the future, but I can hope and pray that even with my episodes, my life will follow the path I choose, and no longer one that is chosen for me.
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